Riley "Richy Rich" West

Still haven't found a job. I found two stressful interviews though, which are coming up on tuesday. My job search has deteriorated into this: a list of ideas to "get rich quick." I live in a dream.

Indoor Mini Golf Course/Bar

Bar at beginning, bar at end. Order drinks to be delivered mid-game. Last hole gives you a free drink instead of a free game. The obstacles wouldn’t need to be directed toward children. It's sort of like the Barcade, but not stupid.

Fourth of July Themed Restaurant

Astro-turf on the floor. Baseball on the tv. Fireworks every single weekend. Picnic tables with red and white tablecloths. A charcoal grill at every table. Staff dressed in American flag print clothes. Bruce Springsteen cover band on fridays. Menus containing only domestic beer, cole slaw, and raw meat. No need for a kitchen or chefs, just a fridge full of meat and beer. CYOM (cook your own meat).

The Stock Market

Laugh now, dicks. I’m going to be your boss.

Glow in the Dark Beer

Remember how much people loved Four Loko? Remember how people still love cheap beer? Well, think about how much people would love to drink glow in the dark beer. You wouldn’t even need to put hops in. Or anything, really. I would say Glow in the Dark Water is an even better idea, but people don’t really buy water from the store anymore. And I doubt I could get it to run from the tap.

Roller skates grocery store

I heard a story from my boss once. Every second saved during the day due to efficiency is a second someone else doesn’t save by being slow. So, he compiles all the seconds at the end of the year. Then, with all his saved time, he takes a long, hot bath while everyone else is working. Grocery stores are getting bigger and bigger, you might as well have roller skates on. Seconds saved. Hot Bath. Duh.

Sunflower roadside stand

Yes, a far-fetched idea, I admit. It definitely relies heavily on romanticism. But what is life other than relying on the good nature of romantics? And what better thing can you think of than sunflowers?

Sunflower/Pizza roadside stand

Similar to the sunflower stand idea, except this time with pizza too.

“ish” stickers

Think about it: Speed Limit 50ish. Wrongish Way. Left Lane Must Turn Leftish.

If anyone steals one of these ideas, you better give me a job. Preferably an upper-level management job.

Sorry for the music, I think I'm going through a phase. If you don't like it, play the game, "Name That Joke Song", because there is one joke song:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/jc0p6yhz599817k/Boredom.zip

Riley.

P.S. where are you, jackson?