8 Things I Giggle About

Sure, laughter is a thing. But I’m not talking about laughter. I’m talking about giggle fits. Something more.

Something uncontrollable and painful.

Nothing can dethrone you from being king of the mountain of intense happiness.

You are, actually, the sun.

You’ve turned into a bright sunflower bending over as if the wind was holding you down.

You’ve found the strawberry, and you ate it.

You are the lawn mower running entirely on laughter.

You are a the sloth eating the plants, slowly.

You are the bee rolling in the pollen.

Your tears are mandatory.

Giggling.

You know what I mean? I want to really make sure you get this before I move on, because laughter is a weak word. Poop and pee are optional, but recommended. And it’s not a giggle moment or a giggle second, it is a giggle fit.

So here are eight things that toss me into that fit pit. The giggle fit pit, that is.

1.     Air Hockey

The last time I played, the puck was an octagon. It was so unpredictable that you wouldn’t even try to hit it in a particular direction. It all happened so fast. Gusto is a word that comes to mind. Hit the puck! With Gusto! Aye!

2.     Spring loaded see-saws

F’real. These things move FAST. And on top of that, there is a person staring back at you with the same facial expression as you. You know that expression, the one you would have if someone told you you’d just been given free pizza for life, but you would have to eat pizza every single hour for the rest of your life. Mostly tears, but a wide mouthed smile instead of a frown.

3.     Pizza after a long period of having no pizza

Yeah, speaking of pizza, PIZZA. You take that first hot bite. Then you scoff at how good it is. Then you realize that everyone else did the same thing. Then someone says, “dude.” Then eye contact is made. Annnnnnd giggle fit commences. I love pizza.

4.     Blink-182 really loud in a car full of friends

Total indulgence. You know how you don’t let yourself listen to too much pop punk? Well, this is one of those times where you finally realize you can let loose. Yeah, I know you know all the words. I know you know I know all the words too.

5.     The game “Is this whiskey?”

A Jackson Depew original, I believe. I bought this stuff from the liquor store, and it says whiskey on it. But I’m not totally convinced. It certainly looks like whiskey. And it smells sort of like whiskey. But it also looks like apple juice. I cringed sort of like I do when I drink whiskey. Is it whiskey? I need a second opinion.

6.     Giggling

I laugh AT all of my friends. They are ridiculous, and do all kinds of stupid things. Then they giggle. Then I giggle. It is sort of like puke: You just projectile giggle all over everyone, and we all get covered in it.

7.     Friends from the past

They are just so smart and clever. They say things like, “things are heavy, right?” or “chill out and eat your pizza” These things are, of course, funny jokes. There is a game we play, it is similar to Risk, but with more irrational decisions. Sometimes feelings get hurt. And that just makes us giggle more.

8.     Summits

That’s right. Embrace your inner lizard. Bask in your glory and take in your immense accomplishment! Take a look around! You’re on the summit! Such an unlikely place to be, and how wonderfully funny it is.

Note the power hats.