Grandpa Preparations

My granddad ruled. He would strum his little beat-up guitar, fingers muting every single string, and sing a sweet not-so-melodic blues about whatever happened to be passing through his mind that day. He’d put on records of big band jazz and do the mummer strut around the living room of his apartment while I quietly sat on the couch, still stuck in the silent world of shyness. He bought me my first (and only) tennis racket. He would say, “Tennis. Now there’s a lifetime sport.” Meet Granddad Byrne, the most Granddadiest Granddad that ever was.

I was thinking today, everyone keeps reflecting on college while they are still in college. Valuable, I imagine, but what is it going to be like to reflect on college when I’m 75? Big, probably. Big is the word that comes to mind. But anyways, people have these coming of age rituals. Mitzvahs, coming of age speeches, vision quests, et cetera. Shouldn’t we have something similar for old people? You know, there could be a paper due when everyone reaches the age of 75. The prompt would be, “Tell me about your life in as many words as possible. Tell me about the history of love, where you worked when you were 27, and who your best friend was in your last year of high school.” Then, these papers would be sent to everyone you ever knew. Your contact information would be listed at the end so that the last 10 or so years of your life would be full of reconnections and reunions.

“Mom, What did Granddad do for a living?”

“Grandpa Riley? Well, he did many things. For a while he played oboe in a military band. Then, he decided to start a restaurant that only served raw meat. That proved to be very successful, so he spent all his money on pizza and bouncy balls. Now he collects the royalties from when he started an indoor mini golf course franchise while he was in college.”

I asked this same question when I was a kid, and I don’t really remember the answer I got other than National Bohemian national spokesperson, or something. But that’s not really the point of it at all. The point is we need to start focusing on what sort of Granddad (or grandma) we’re all going to be. And preparations start now, 20-somethings! So take that silly job as an ice cream truck driver or cruise ship comedian, because your grand kids are going to ask you about the craziest job you’ve ever had, and you had better have a story to tell them!

What are you doing to prepare yourself to be the best grandparent ever?

Riley.